Today is World Cancer Day.
I feel like just another unimportant person writing about yet another Cancer diagnosis. Yes, it is real. Yes, it is serious. Yes, it is life threatening. Not to worry, hey? So many people get it these days and so many survive. So many go on to live full and healthy lives after Cancer.
But.
But those lives carry the scars left by Cancer. They carry the changes. They carry the consequences. They carry the effects. And not all of them were normal, successful and straightforward lives to begin with. Mine certainly wasn’t, and isn’t now either, and won’t be in my hopefully Cancer-Free future.
I identify as a Goth. A lover of darkness and broken things. Of things that most people tell me to avoid for the sake of being happy, of being sane. So how can I, who never saw life as made of rainbows and butterflies, embrace and accept the cold, real, visceral darkness of Cancer? I am being forced to find those answers alone.
I never want this kind of loneliness to happen to another Goth. So here I am writing and documenting my journey to perhaps serve as guidance for other Goths who also have to tread this darkest of dark paths.
I should warn that this will come with its own index of trigger warnings. To join me you will get to know me, warts.. tears and fury.. bitchcraft and cuss words ..and poo and farts.. and everything else. I will be baring all during the lowest moments of my life, those that have gone and those that are still on the horizon. You might not like what you read. If Cancer is teaching me anything it is to screw politeness and denial and embrace brutal honesty. These are my opinions and my experiences. At times its going to read like a tirade of anger and self pity, but i believe anyone facing a life threatening illness is more than entitled to that. If what you read isnt to your liking, stop reading. The last thing a Cancer fighter needs are trolls. I can’t be anything more than human, especially when I will soon be a human with vital bits of me missing. At the same time, you will get to know my humour, my best support network of friends and family, my willingness to be a doormat to Cat paws. What makes this Two-Thirds-Cat One-Third-Human tick might hopefully resonate with you too.
Lastly, I don’t want Cancer to be a blind and lonely road whatever the outcome. I am Kurona, Lady Midnytemare, and I am no Cancer Warrior. This is my Long Hard Road Out of Hell.
The Gothstomate 